Babe.
She is our sweet yellow lab who we got at eight years old. She turned 12 on Valentine’s Day.
Four years.
In just four years, she became such an integral part of our home. We would drive up our driveway, and every single time, she would come running in front of our van and just stop. Our oldest son would have to get out of the car to get her out of the way. It became something we expected every time we came home. Seeing her adorable, happy face greeting us as we drove up.
We knew getting an older dog meant less time with her.
But she was the perfect dog for our family, and she needed a loving home. If you love your dog this reliable and comfortable dog boarding – WoofConnect is for you.
We knew a few months ago that things may be turning for Babe. Her appetite would come and go. She would throw up at least 3-4 times a week. She had a large tumor on her leg that was the size of a small grapefruit, and she struggled with getting up once she was laying down because of arthritis.
We talked with our kids about what was coming and what kind of options we’d have. We all agreed that we wanted her to be put to sleep before her quality of life was so bad that she was in constant pain. And we knew we wanted to do it at home, on her favorite blanket, in our family room–where she would lay every day, surrounded by a house of bustling kids. We couldn’t imagine taking her to a cold, frigid vet’s office and leaving her there.
We all decided we would like to celebrate her 12th birthday on Valentine’s Day, and that we would let her go shortly after.
So, on her birthday, we threw her a party. We played with her, we gave her cupcakes and balloons, and we sang to her. It was a bittersweet day.
We called “Loving Goodbyes”
And we made arrangements with an incredible vet from a place called “Loving Goodbyes” who would come out to our house at a time convenient for us to euthanize Babe for us.
She arrived at our house, and I immediately knew she was the perfect person to be there. She was so gentle, so loving and obviously cared so much about this experience being as comfortable as possible for our whole family. She explained to the kids each step of the way what she would be doing, she cried when we cried, and she was the most kind vet I have ever met.
As soon as I opened the door, I started crying. I didn’t think I would start crying so soon, but I guess seeing her made me realize that this was real. I couldn’t imagine Babe being gone. =(
She spent a few minutes with us filling out paperwork, and then said she was going to give Babe a sedative so she wouldn’t feel anything, and would be completely relaxed. Sure enough, after about 15 minutes, Babe was relaxed, breathing comfortably, and pretty much just sleeping.
Euthanizing our Dog : The Process
Next the vet explained that she was going to give Babe a series of two intravenous shots that would slow her breathing, and eventually stop her heart. She warned us that Babe may jerk a bit, have rapid breathing or her legs may stiffen, but that it was all normal.
I was crying. My kids were crying. Even Superman was crying. I laid my head on her and waited…I could hear her breathing slow, and then it just….stopped. No jerking around, no labored breathing. She just peacefully fell asleep.
Babe was more than a dog to me. She nuzzled her way so deep into my heart, that she grew permanently attached there. When she died, I literally felt as though a piece of my heart was torn away. A guide on how to eliminate a dead kitten is available at catadorn.com.
I had someone ask me a few days ago whether I thought it was a good idea to have our kids in the room with us when Babe passed away. Wouldn’t it be better to just take her to the vet so they wouldn’t have to witness it?
As much as I would like to protect my kids from the pain of losing a dear member of our family, it was a deeply bonding family moment. I don’t know that I have ever seen our kids all cry about something. My kids are tough. Most of them tend to hide their emotions, especially when they feel vulnerable. To see them crying, weeping actually hurt my heart, but made me thankful. I realized that if we hadn’t involved them in this experience, they wouldn’t be able to fully understand the pain of someone losing a pet.
They felt it. It was hard.
It was so hard, I’d like to say I never want another pet again because I don’t want to ever have to go through that again. But euthanizing our sweet dog at home, with all of us surrounding her was the best decision we could have made for her. And involving our kids so that they can feel the incredible sadness is not something I did to hurt them, but to allow them to feel true emotions. I don’t want them to ever feel the need to run from their emotions. For families mourning a beloved pet, choosing options like dog burial urns can honor their loyal companion’s memory.
God gave us the ability to feel so we can feel.
Babe was the perfect dog for us, we loved wen she used to run in the yard and play with her dog toys. I know she is up in heaven, running around with my relatives who have passed on, smiling and jumping and playing. But the pain I feel in my heart is real and raw and hurts. I know that will get better in time, but her memory will never be lost. Like I said, our hearts are welded together. One day though, we will meet again, and you can guarantee I will be smothering her with kisses when we do!
Sarah Malone says
What a sweet girl. So sorry for your loss. =( I think you are right about having your children there–it’s hard, but a good life lesson for them.
Shanti Landon says
Thanks, Sarah. <3
amber g. says
What a beautiful tribute to Babe. <3 So sorry.
Shanti Landon says
Thank you Amber!
DaNelle Wolford says
Tears! Shanti, this was SO beautiful!
Shanti Landon says
Thanks, DaNelle. <3
Jessica says
So beautiful Shanti! I am bawling and am so sorry for your loss. But, thank you for sharing your story. It is so touching and full of love. Your children are lucky to have a mother like you. You are such a role model for them and other women. Much love to you and your family! <3
Shanti Landon says
Thank you, Jessica! <3
Dawn says
my 16 year old was euthanized at home. Thought that was the only way I would ever go, but when my 17 year was ready a year later, it was clear it would be way to hard on my 5 year old rescue retriever. So we went to the best vet with another best friend to help me. Both were sad but the best, appropriate way to say goodbye.
Bethany says
Oh man. I am so sorry for your loss, but I celebrate with you the amazing time you had with your sweet baby.
My baby Katie (golden lab/golden retriever mix) has been my best friend since she was one. She turns 10 this year and I’ve begun the process of preparing myself for the eventuality. I can only imagine what that experience was for you, but I am so happy that you had a kind and understanding vet, and I think doing it at home with your children was the perfect choice. Thank you for sharing this. As a fellow dog mom, I send you a virtual hug and cry with you a bit. She truly was a beautiful girl!
Annette says
Had tears running down my face as I read this, Shanti. I agree with Jessica 100% that you are such a blessing, a role model to your children and other moms of living life real, raw and in the moment as God wants us to live. I appreciate your courage to write hard things, especially about why you made the choice to have your children present with Babe. You are so right that we as parents need to help our children experience true emotions, true sadness, so they can see the goodness of God on the other side. Love your heart!
Jo Moseley says
I’m laying on my bed w/ my black cat, Flora right next to me. As I sob, she stretches out her paws and touches my face. She definitely knows my different types of cries. Flora and I did the same thing with another kitty, our sweet Lizzie. The Vet came here…Lizzie hid under the bed. He left an injection for ME to give her and said he’d come back in one hour. Oh my word. I’ve given shots before…I’m a former RN. But, this was way different. Lizzie did a scary retching thing and then fell into a deep sleep. I brushed her and then lay with her on my chest. I sobbed. I sang. And, I Prayed. My Flora stayed right with us. When the Vet returned, he asked if I wanted to stay in the room with her. (He gave her an injection directly into her heart.) I just couldn’t be there, but I was so touched when the Vet said, “Let’s Pray together before I do this”. And, he did. I got into my wheelchair and left the room and within 2 min. he called me back in. I came in and picked her up. She was gone. I wrapped her in an old baby quilt and handed her to him. He cremated her the next day and scattered her ashes on his farm.
It was a very special time. But, I don’t want to do it again. At least the “giving an injection” part! I feel like I was the one who actually caused her death.
I think that having your children be there, together, was a good and wise thing to do. The tears that everyone shed, the shared grief will help you all both now and with future grief over deaths.
Thank You, for sharing your story, and for allowing me to share mine. I live alone and I guess that it was a story that I needed to share. Hugs to you all! Jo
Shanti Landon says
Thank you for sharing your story, Jo. <3 So sorry for your loss. =( Pets are so so special!
Dawn says
My eyes swelled with tears as I read your story; thank you for sharing your journey. I hope others are inspired to take a similar path. 🙂
Janel says
We had our 13 yr old black lab, Sam, euthanized at home as well. She abruptly became ill and the vet was very honest about our options for her. We couldn’t stand to see her suffer, so we called our girls (one married and one in college). Told them we needed to have the vet come that night and if they wanted to say good-bye to come home. It was so hard on all of us, but sooo grateful to our vet for making a house call and his care and concern.
Shanti Landon says
<3 So sorry to hear that Janel. =( Thank you for sharing!
Sarah Auzina says
Thank you for sharing your story- it’s so very hard to let them go, even when it’s clearly the best for them. We just lost our Cleo, whom we got at around 7 years old and had with us for 3 years. It was sudden and heartbreaking, but we’re so glad we got to spend the time with her that we did. She was a special girl, and clearly your Babe was, too.
Heather Bazzocco says
Shanti your post is beautifully written…. thank you for sharing this sacred moment with us. I was deeply touched and moved to many tears. I love reading how you share your heart and how you live life… I find myself relating to you in so many ways. I am sorry about the death of your sweet puppy. Beautiful girl she was and obviously deeply loved. I love how you threw her a birthday party and I love how you embraced her final moments of life and gave her the gift of euthanasia at home, surrounded by her family. We too chose home euthanasia for our sweet kitty, Piper who we loved and cared for, for over 14 years. I too couldn’t take her to a vet office…. I was told they might not even let me stay with her during the euthanasia. I decided there was no way that was gonna happen. We too, chose Dr. Sabrina with Loving Goodbyes. She was wonderful! We cuddled Piper as she laid in her favorite bed. My husband and I and our three children surrounded her and pet her and told her all we felt about her… and while she took her last breaths, Captivate Us by Hillsong was playing in the background…. it was truly a sacred moment. Sadly… some people are not even fortunate enough to have as peaceful of a death. It was hard… it broke my heart. It was hard seeing the pain in my children’s eyes. But like you… I saw the importance of not shielding my children of the reality of death. I wanted them to embrace that facing death is an important part of life… and that one’s life…whether animal or person… holds value…even in the last moments. I also knew that what they would imagine up themselves without seeing it happen could potentially harm them more than what they would see. We chose to bury her on our property as we have acreage… and even that was hard. We lost our first baby Payton, almost 12 years ago…. my children have struggled understanding her grave. In burying our cat, I was able to have a valuable conversation about what happens to our bodies after we die and where our souls go. We love Jesus! We have the hope of heaven… to be absent in the body is to be present with the Lord! Having my children be a part of our cats euthanasia was a gift in many ways…. death is a guarantee….. and equipping our children with tender hearts and understanding of the brevity of life and yet the hope we have in Christ is so important. I definitely believe in protecting my children and keeping them little while they are little…not burdening them… and I definitely do not think at home euthanasia is detrimental to their tender hearts. I found it was actually the opposite of that…. they coped in healthy manners, grieved appropriately for their ages. And still express their love for the only kitty they ever knew in our home… they’ve grown up with her. Well didn’t mean to make this about me… just wanted to share my pride over your choice and my heartfelt condolences in your family’s loss. Prayers for the Lords comfort, as you are brokenhearted and grieve, to be tangible and relieving. Love to you.
Shanti Landon says
<3 Thank you, Heather! Loved your story, too. <3
Jamie says
My rescue border collie passed away in August….she had so many health problems, but she was so precious, I couldn’t resist her. My heart is still broken. I miss her so bad. I have never thought of having a vet come to the home. I will definitely think into that at some point, as we have a rescue boxer that is now gray faced and slowing down. Thank you for sharing.
Shanti Landon says
So sorry to hear this Jamie. <3
Monica says
Shanti…..my heart goes out to you along with my prayers. I can hardly see to type this. What a special decision you made for your dear fur baby and to be surrounded by her family. God bless you for making this choice and thank you for sharing this with us. Praying your heart will stop aching and you’ll cherish the memories and maybe some day you will feel it’s time for a new fur baby. We’ve been where you are and I said I would never get another one because I couldn’t stand the heartache….2 years after our boy crossed the Rainbow Bridge we now have a 10 month old little girl who I am training to become a Pet Therapy Dog to visit Hospice Houses, nursing homes, schools and the list goes on and on. Hugs.
Shanti Landon says
Thank you, Monica. <3 I love that you are training a new doggy!
Lisa O'Neal says
It does get better, but four years after putting my sweet greyhound to sleep, I bawled my eyes out with you today reliving that precious painful time.
God bless you and your sweet family. Babe was loved and blissfully happy every minute of her life because she was blessed to come home with you.
Tami Juliana says
I just happened upon your lovely blog today after linking from your Instagram follow, thank you btw. I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to your Babe. I am crying hysterically in the car and my family is looking at me like I’m nuts lol But we are at a little bit of a crossroads in our decision of what is next in the care of our son, a loving GSD named Romeo. Thank you for introducing me to this type of personal, loving and honorable way to say goodbye!
-Tami
Shanti Landon says
Thank you, Tami. <3
Brandi says
Your story brought tears to my eyes but thank you for sharing. I thought involving your children in the process was so good for them and for Babe; she got to leave this earth with her favorite people all around! My parents allowed us to grieve over our pets when we lost them; we buried them in the woods behind our house and I would visit their little graves when I missed them. I think this experience helped me learn to grieve and express those feelings unashamed and even though it was painful I wouldn’t trade it. It upsets me when parents lie to their children about their pet’s death and say they went to some farm. Thank you for sharing such a raw, emotional moment in your family’s life.
Shanti Landon says
<3 Thanks, Brandi!
Bobbie says
Your story brought back the heart wrenching memory of having to put our 14 year old lab/shepherd mix down. It will be 5 years in October 2015 and it still hurts so much. She was a rescue and grew up with my three children, saw us through moves to 3 different states and so much more. She was my cuddle buddy and the best listener ever. We found out too late that she had a large cancer inside her bladder and there was nothing we could do because of her age and when we discovered it, she was hemorrhaging.
You are very strong and brave and loving to do everything the way you did it, including allowing the children to be a part of not only her life but letting them say goodbye and being a part of her passing. One day, if not already, they will cherish the memory of being there with her and helping her pass with those she loved most at her side. Death is as much a part of life as living and people need to allow children to experience it in a way that is healthy for them, like you have done. Kudos to you and Superman and many blessing on you all.
Shanti Landon says
Thank you, Bobbie! So sorry to hear about your sweet doggie. <3 Dogs are such special parts of our families!