I wanted to go to the women’s march yesterday. But there was a level of discomfort I had, and I hadn’t been able to quite put my finger on it. However, as I was looking at pics from the event, it kind of struck me: I think the reason I don’t feel comfortable is that I feel as though the women’s marches are more about pushing agendas that I don’t agree with than supporting ALL women. Even the Sacramento Bee wrote, “The Sacramento Women’s March is partly a rally calling on Democrats to show up and vote in November’s congressional election.”
As an example, one of the four pillars of this women’s march was immigration. I pulled this from their website: “We support sanctuary cities and state laws, DACA, equal pay, safety and benefits for those with all levels of immigration status…”. I support finding a way for those innocent children who came here at the behest of their parents long ago to stay in the only home they’ve ever known. However, I believe we need to be prudent and thoughtful about immigration. There are thousands upon thousands of people who have been waiting in line to get into this great country (another area for drastic reform), while others circumvent the process and sneak in. I think it’s in our country’s best interest to have major immigration reform to streamline the system, while also remembering that we cannot be everything to everyone. Knowing their platform proudly disagrees with me, and the content of what they spoke from the pulpit makes me feel like I am not welcome.
Many photos I saw yesterday were of signs promoting a women’s right to choose abortion. I completely understand why this issue would be at the forefront of a women’s march, but what about people like me? Personally, I lean more libertarian on social issues and don’t believe it’s possible for the government to mandate morality, but I have a deep passion for the sanctity of life. It is a huge reason why we adopted. But if I were to have attended and held a sign supporting women who choose adoption over abortion, I truly believe I would have been chastised and seen as an instigator. Maybe I’m misguided, but I truly believe I’m accurate in my assessment, and if so, how does this support ALL women?
I guess what I’m trying to say is that my hope for a women’s march would aim to stand on some of the following uniting issues:
*The equal treatment of women in the workplace
*Protecting and empowering women to escape poverty, hunger, and homelessness
*Equipping women to liberate themselves from domestic violence cases and abuse
*Educating and delivering women from human trafficking
*The continued under-representation of women in politics and government
These issues are all “women’s issues” that I believe almost ALL women would support and proudly march for. They are not politicized, they are matters of importance to women on either side; whether republican or democrat, rich or poor, black or white, young or old.
If the march was really about pushing liberal agendas, I just wish it was made abundantly clear that this was a march for those issues, not a march for women. Maybe calling it a “Democratic Women’s March?” I think there are a lot of women (and men) like me who just didn’t feel comfortable attending because we saw the underlying purpose, and to me, that is a shame.
So…please help me. Am I wrong in my assumptions? Do you feel someone like me would have been welcome if I was vocally supporting a conservative cause? Or do you think I could attend in peace as long as I was not pointing out the fact that I hold some conservative values?
Ellen says
You are right on,my feelings exactly!
Amy Belcher says
I believe you were right not to go. You would not have been able to voice your beliefs, they would have become angry as most Democrats/liberals do these days. If you were to set up a march for the issues you listed, I would march with you wherever it is!
harriet Garland says
Couldn’t agree more
Anna says
Thank you for putting into words what I was thinking as well.
Megan says
I agree totally with your thoughts on this.
Jennifer says
I think you do make a lot of assumptions… it is unfortunate that you did not feel welcome or comfortable attending because you did not support some of the ideas and ideals embraced by other women… many of whom have felt unwelcome, uncomfortable or unsafe at one time or another, too, depending on their political, religious or personal views. Perhaps they would have been more open to your viewpoints than you expect?
Whereas women can unite under issues you mentioned (see below), these issues are not isolated from some of the issues or views you mentioned. For example, the pro-choice agenda supports some women’s ability to participate and/or succeed in the issues you mention… adoption is one of the choices women have under the pro-choice umbrella… the point being that women should be empowered to make their own decisions.
*The equal treatment of women in the workplace
*Protecting and empowering women to escape poverty, hunger, and homelessness
*Equipping women to liberate themselves from domestic violence and abuse
*Educating and delivering women from human trafficking
*The continued under-representation of women in politics and government
The reality of our world is that there is a spectrum of values and beliefs… the beauty in our world is being able to respect and accept the opinion of others… I choose to believe that marchers would have been open minded enough to see the beauty in your presence at the event.
Rita says
The points you believe in, what you outlined, are indeed the broadest platform available for us all to support all women. The idea behind the marches, that women’s voices & lives are equal, not an afterthought, is a premise and arena of all of us, that we be not subjugated nor adjunct to men or men’s voices. After that, of course there will be as many differences as there are among men’s opinions. Do not let that deter you from showing up, as an activist or participant, where your voice directs you. My strongest wish is that all folk could say to each other; ‘follow your truth and your bliss, stand up for your rights, do not deny any others that which you want or grant to yourself or group, and do not assume any of your beliefs cancel any of my rights.’ I, too, saw folk and opinions which violate my stance, made me sad even. However, if we presuppose a problem before it exists, or make an assumption without even being able to walk and converse with those we may have differences with, we fail to open doors, or perhaps be available to others whose doors, or hearts, or minds may be opened, including our own. I saw a sign today NOTHING GROWS IN THE COMFORT ZONE, and I’ve been pondering that. I also noticed that your other responses echoed the idea that this March belongs to a specific agenda group, maligned as a whole. I suggest that is growth inhibiting position, and not necessarily factual, but supports my thoughts on the matter. So this event, like any other, has to be of course each of our free choice, but it is possible to hold our own beliefs while allowing, even encouraging, others to do the same.
Rita says
*I meant *illustrates* not ‘…supports, my thoughts on the matter…’
gen z says
Guess what – you don’t really support women if you don’t support their right of choice. Nobody’s making you get an abortion. And again, pro choice is not pro abortion. It’s really as though a lot of pro life people are actually pro birth; life after conception also apparently means nothing to you if you despise immigration so much. If you truly cared, then you’d be working towards helping mothers with no resources. Defending a clump of cells and being all talk is doing nothing. Try advocating for better sex ed in schools. Donate to organizations that offer access birth control, like planned parenthood. If you can’t or don’t care to do any of this, then keep your opinion out of other women’s bodies.
Shanti Landon says
Huh. It seems to me that telling a woman she HAS to believe a certain way is the antithesis of pro-woman. Saying that I need to “keep my opinion out” is not supporting women. Isn’t a main tenant of women’s rights to encourage ALL women to be treated equally, to be empowered, and to have a voice? You are excluding a huge portion of women by not engaging in thoughtful discussion on this topic, and I would suggest that you don’t really support ALL women if that is the case. You support women who agree with you, yes, but it’s a conditional support that only comes if they agree with you.
As a side note, I don’t think adopting 4 kids from the foster care system is being “all talk.” And I think I wrote in my post that I support responsible immigration, just not policies that allow for anyone and everyone to come here with no plan of how to take care of them.
If you are truly for women’s rights, please support empowering ALL women to share their thoughts, regardless of whether their beliefs make sense to you or not. THAT, in my opinion, is true feminism.
Sarah says
**mic drop**