Every night, I approach my pillow with trepidation. On one hand, I can’t wait for my head to hit the soft, welcoming embrace so I can drift off into a deep dream-filled sleep. On the other hand, I know what my head meeting the pillow will mean.
It means the wheels will start turning in my head.
For some reason, the more I want to sleep, the more things come to mind:
Shoot. I don’t have eggs for breakfast tomorrow.
Did I move the laundry over to the dryer? Aw, man. They’re gonna be all moldy-smelling tomorrow.
I need to make a new recipe for the blog. It’s been like a week since I posted.
If there was an earthquake on Mars, would they call it a marsquake?
I’m so tired. Ugh! Why can’t I fall asleep?!
Great. It’s like midnight. If I fall asleep now, I’ll still get about 6 hours of sleep. FALL. ASLEEP.
Did the kids brush their teeth before they went to bed? I think a couple of them forgot. What the heck?? How many times do I need to tell them to brush their teeth? Doesn’t it gross them out??
Oh, man. so-and-so’s birthday is tomorrow, and I didn’t get her a present.
Gosh, it’s hot. Wait–did I turn down the heater? I better get up and check.
Well, glad I checked the thermostat–I feel better now. I think I can fall asleep.
Did the kids shut the door to the freezer in the garage? Shoot, I don’t even care. It’s just gonna have to wait until tomorrow.
I wonder how the police handcuff a one-armed man?
I really need to cut out sugar again. I feel my sugar pouch growing on my belly. Ugh. {squeezing sugar pouch on belly} I need to do some sit-ups.
I wonder if I should do some exercises now. I feel wide awake–why can’t I feel like this when I want to exercise during the day?
Ok, tomorrow I’ll start…
The kids are going to a party tomorrow. Man, they’re gonna eat a bunch of junk.
Superman is snoring. He doesn’t normally snore, what’s going on? He must be getting sick.
I better diffuse some OnGuard so we don’t all get sick.
What should I make for dinner tomorrow? Chicken. Yeah, probably chicken. I better remember to take it out of the freezer in the morning.
Ok, I need to think about nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
And round and round it goes until eventually I fall asleep.
I love my pillow, I really do. But it needs to do a better job at shutting up.
I asked Superman what he thinks about when his head hits his pillow. He said, “Man, I’m tired. Then I fall asleep.”
Must be nice. I think we need to switch pillows.
Melinda says
Oh. My. Gosh. DYING. Sooo funny!!
Sarah Malone says
I was seriously wondering where this post was going to go. Cracking up! I can totally relate to so many of your thoughts!
Michelle Welch says
True story! My husband is usually asleep in 30 seconds. My brain is never busier than the 2 hours after I lay down to go to sleep.
Darren L. says
I thought I would weigh in as the male voice here. I think you hit the nail on the head when it comes to women. My wife is constantly complaining that she can’t fall asleep, that her mind is running nonstop, etc. I always make fun of her (lightheartedly, of course). I have no problem just closing my eyes and falling asleep. If there’s something to be done, it will still be waiting for me tomorrow. Guess you women stress out more than us men about things like that. Anyway, great read, thanks.
Michelle Pedersen says
Hahaha! YES! So true. Reminds me of that saying I’ve seen float around Facebook on occasion: “Men: If you ever wanna’ know what a woman’s mind feels like, imagine a browser with 2,875 tabs open. All. The. Time.”
Shanti Landon says
Yes!
Merri says
This happens to me too sometimes. I keep a notepad by my bed to offload all my “to do’s” and reminders…it seems to help some.