Let’s Talk Poop. What Does It Tell You?

OK, don’t blush. Today we’re talking about poop. Sure, it’s associated with junior high jokes, but it’s a fact of life. Everybody poops. For real. THIS book says so.

Did you know that 3/4 of your poop is water? The longer it sits in your large intestines, the more water is removed, and the harder it gets to pass. Constipation. Drink your fluids, people. The rest of your poop is made up of bacteria and indigestible material.

Colors of Poop

Poop can be a variety of colors. The reason it’s typically brown is due to the bile from your gall bladder being metabolized by the bacteria in your intestines. Yellow poop? Not usually a great sign. Yellow poop means your feces are passing through your intestines quickly, and is often a symptom of GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease). Symptoms of GERD include heartburn, chest pain, sore throat, chronic cough, and wheezing. Symptoms are usually worse when lying down or bending. Foods that can worsen GERD symptoms include peppermint, fatty foods, alcohol, coffee, and chocolate.

If the onset is sudden, yellow stool can also be a sign of a bacterial infection in the intestines.

Green poop? Well, it could be the Lucky Charms you ate this morning. Or the boat-load of dark green, leafy greens. Or it could be related to one of these causes.
Wanna hear something icky? In ancient Rome, a wet sponge on a stick was used to wipe. Sounds fine, right? Well, except for the fact that they would put that sponge into a salt water bucket afterwards for the next person to use. Ewww. I’ll take a roll of toilet paper, thank you. Browse through this site https://www.sosproducts.com/emergency-toilets-s/1896.htm if you’re looking for portable toilets.

Consistency of Poop

So just as the color of your stool can give you insight into your health, so can the consistency of it.

Stools that are hard and pebble-like can be a sign of poor liver and gallbladder function and or a lack of digestive enzymes. Both large and hard stools as well as diarrhea can lead to straining and possibly hemorrhoids.

Mucus in your stool often indicates there is inflammation of the intestines. It can occur with either constipation or diarrhea, and it’s usually whitish in color.

Want to know what your poop should look like? Check out the chart below:

Types 1-3 indicate constipation, with 4 and 5 being the “ideal stools”, especially the former, as they are easy to defecate while not containing any excess liquid, and 6 and 7 tending towards diarrhea.

So, there you have it. Poop’s important. And it leads to the age-old question: Which way do you put the toilet paper on? Over or under? Which way you do it could tell you a lot about yourself?

So, which way are you?

*For entertainment purposes only