Transparency

I’m not perfect. As previously stated, I can be selfish. Oh, and I can be prideful, too.

I think it’s hard as parents not to fall into the “facade” temptation. We’re tempted to create a disguise, a fake exterior, a mask, a veneer…we don’t want people to know that we struggle, right? We don’t want people to see our kids arguing, fighting, disobeying, or eating their boogers. We don’t want people to hear questionable words come from our little cherubs’ mouths or see them licking that sticky gunk off the end of the tube of toothpaste. Not that my kids would do that.

I especially feel pressure, having adopted kids, to keep that appearance up. For some reason, I feel like it’s my responsibility to prove to the world that having adopted kids is just as rewarding as having biological kids, and that they are equally important. Now, I truly do believe that, but why I feel like I need to prove that to others is beyond me. I worry when my kids do something wrong that it will be assumed that it must be due to their background. They have, after all, gone through tough times. As much as I hate to admit it, there are stereotypes that are placed smack-dab in the middle of foster kids foreheads. As much as I’d like to deny it, I have seen it over and over. It hasn’t always been vocalized, but people’s body language and responses can say a lot.

I try to keep it real with people. But to be quite honest, I think I’m like many moms in that I enjoy sharing the good things…who wants to share that they almost imploded that morning, or they yelled at their kids, or let their barely-2-year-old wipe themselves after pooping, or they *gasp* watched a t.v. show instead of doing laundry? I mean, don’t we all have everything perfectly organized, the laundry put away, the floors vacuumed, and the mirrors wiped clean of those spit-spots that come from the kids brushing their teeth? Of course not. But why don’t we share our imperfections more?

I really do have many imperfections, both in parenting and in my existence as a wife, friend and woman. But, sharing imperfections doesn’t make us failures. Sharing imperfections makes us transparent. Authentic. 

I’ve left laundry sitting on my bed, moved it off my bed so I could go to sleep, and then put it back on the bed in the morning, only to move it off again that night. Really.
I’ve broken my vacuum and then gone a month without vacuuming because it was too overwhelming to find a new one.
I’ve let our 10-month-old eat ice cream. And cookies.
I’ve told myself to write a note to a dear friend who needed a pick-me-up only to have weeks go by and then realize it was too late for the note to be applicable.
I’ve written thank-you notes right after Christmas, and then had them sit for TWO MONTHS on our desk because I was too lazy to get out the address book to address them.
I’ve watched the Food Network instead of doing…just about anything.
My kids bicker. Endlessly.
They disobey me and then lie about it.
They lick the gunk off the end of the toothpaste tube. I’ve SEEN them!

I’ve failed in many ways. Heck, I’m still failing as we speak. But, I’m OK with it. I have no need to be perfect. I’m saved by Grace. There’s nothing I can do to earn my salvation. God knows my shortcomings and He loves me anyway.

Now, if I could just remind myself that when a friend asks how I’m doing, instead of saying, “Good!” (which is my canned response), I actually tell her that I spilled juice on myself, yelled at my kids, and haven’t bathed them in 3 days. Then, I think I’d be getting somewhere.

So what about you? What are some of YOUR imperfections???