Yesterday I was at the doctor’s office with my two daughters. My youngest daughter had a routine follow-up after breaking her elbow about six weeks ago, and we were in the x-ray waiting room.
My daughters were playing video games on their Kindles, and next to them sat an older lady. She was probably in her late 70s, with short, white hair, a dark purple shirt and dangly silver earrings. She stared at the girls with a smug, disappointed look on her face. She tapped my older daughter, Naomi, on the shoulder. “How much time does your mother give you to play video games each day, honey?”
Naomi replied, “A 1/2 hour a day.”
The woman looked surprised. I smiled to myself. Yup, I’m a good, attentive parent. I’m pretty proud of the fact that I limit my kids to a 1/2 hour a day of video game time. I’ll just bask in the glow of good parenting for a few moments…
The woman looked directly at me and scolded, “A 1/2 hour a day is much too much time for little girls to be playing video games. They should be outside playing!”
Now, normally this is where my defensive, people-pleasing nature would rear its ugly head and I would jump to my defense, stating how we live out in the country and my kids get plenty of “outside time.” Normally I would stew over this woman’s comment, convincing myself of how I’m doing the best I can…and then slowly melt into a self-condemning argument with myself about how maybe I should just eliminate video games altogether. Or at least just make my kids sit and read a book when we’re in public so it at least looks like I’m a good mom.
But, you see, something was different this time. In my hand, I held the book Bold Love, which is all about loving people boldly. It’s about forgiveness, maturity, and seeing others through Jesus’ eyes. It’s about stepping outside of oneself and allowing the power of God to sweep in to love others in a way only God can. And I had been praying that God would give me opportunities to practice.
And so, in those few short moments, I smirked to myself and thanked God for an opportunity to develop bold love in my life.
I smiled back at the woman and replied, “I know what you mean! I wish we could go back to the good ol’ days, when mom baked homemade bread every day and the kids came in dirty and exhausted at night.” And then I asked, “What was it like for you growing up?”
The woman lit up.
She jumped into a story about her childhood on a small farm, how she used to play with her sisters until dusk, rolling around in the barn and playing with the animals. She shared how every night, she would come in smelling like hay and fall, exhausted, into her bed.
Her eyes looked off into the distance as she reminisced about simpler times, when neighbors looked out for each other, the family gathered around the fireplace at night, and the world had a lot less rules. I even felt like I was transported there.
The woman’s story was interrupted by the x-ray tech calling out my daughter’s name.
As I stood up to leave, I turned to the woman and said, “It was so nice chatting with you! What’s your name?”
“Evelyn.”
I shook Evelyn’s hand, told her again what a pleasure it was talking to her, and walked away, believing we had both just owned that conversation.
You see, all it took was me being willing.
I just had to ask God for the opportunity and then be willing to allow Him to work. He turned a potentially hurtful exchange into a beautiful conversation between two women from different generations. He filled my heart with joy as I listened to her tell her stories, knowing that by offering bold love, I had opened a window to her soul. She bubbled forth delight as she spoke, and it was merely the result of loving her as Jesus would. Bold love.
Who is God asking you to boldly love today?
Selena says
Oh. My. Gosh. Did you write this just for me?? I have a person in my life who I KNOW I need to boldly love. This person is critical of me, and I let her comments hurt me. When you said you allow yourself to “stew” over comments, that hit home for me! I literally lay in bed stewing over this person. I am so excited you mentioned the book, I’m going to order it today! Thank you so much for sharing this. What a beautiful example of the love of Jesus!
Shanti Landon says
I love this! So excited for you to get the book–I am loving it and am only about 1/3 of the way through! Hope you love it, too!
Sarah Malone says
This is so, so beautiful. I think we all have people in our lives we can love more like Jesus did. I love that you asked God to give you opportunities to practice! What a simple way to show the love of Jesus to those around you. <3
Shanti Landon says
Thank you, Sarah! <3
Darren S. says
Shanti, I know your blog is typically geared toward women, but I wanted to tell you that as a guy, you speak to me as well. I don’t “follow” a lot of blogs, but yours is one that I do. Not only because you make great food, but because you are real and open and honest. It’s very refreshing. This post is a convicting example of how we need to be out there, loving people as Jesus would. Thank you for sharing your stories with your readers.
Shanti Landon says
Wow, thanks Darren! I really, really appreciate that! Hope you are able to find someone to “boldly love” today!
Mark says
I’m a guy and I second what Darren said.
Shanti Landon says
lol Well, thanks, Mark!
Marisa says
Way to be the hands and feet and heart of Jesus 🙂
Shanti Landon says
Thank you, Marisa! <3
amber g. says
Shanti, what an eloquently written post. Your heart shines through, and you are such an example of sharing God’s love with people. I also love that you asked God to give you opportunities to “practice.” THAT shows that you are genuinely wanting to change. =) Thank you for inspiring me!
Shanti Landon says
Thank you, Amber! Praying for you on your journey to love boldly!
Jolene says
I really want to get this book! Can I ask–how long have you been working on this? It seems like you are so “together,” and I know you’ve done posts before on how you’re still a “work in progress,” but I would love to get to the point where I can respond the way you did. I guess I just want to know if it’s been a process for you, or did it just come naturally?
Shanti Landon says
Hi, Jolene! I have to first give credit where credit is due–I’m reading this book at the recommendation of my therapist. She is amazing and is continually challenging me to grow. I love that about her! I am definitely NOT “there” and hope to never THINK I’m “there,” because I want to always be working on bettering myself. It’s not possible to be “there” this side of heaven. That being said, I’ve been in therapy for almost 4 months now, so it’s definitely a process that I’m still walking through. The next time I get presented with an “opportunity,” it may not be as pretty as this time. lol But I’m doing my best and thankful that God has an abundant amount of grace and patience with me. =) It is only by His power and might that I will ever be able to boldly love those around me. If it was by my own power, it wouldn’t be miraculous! Hope that helps answer your question!
Yvette says
Hi, Shanti. My name is Yvette. I live in Sydney, Australia. I have been following your blog for quite some time, initially following you for your Paleo recipes. I have to be honest and tell you that when you first started shifting the focus of your blog from just recipes to sharing pieces of your faith, I almost unsubscribed. I am not a Christian, and honestly, have had only bad experiences with people who call themselves “Christian,” but then live their lives as anything BUT that.
Over the years, I have read your heartfelt, honest posts. I’ve watched you share deeply personal struggles and lay your heart open for others to see. I have read your posts about God’s impact on your life and how he has pursued you (I think you even did a post on him pursuing you if I remember correctly?)
I wanted to tell you that your authenticity initially gave me faith in the idea that maybe God IS good. Maybe he isn’t just sitting up in heaven with an iron scepter ready to strike down those who cross him. Maybe he actually does love me.
A few weeks ago, you wrote a post about how you were going to therapy. Shanti, it deeply, deeply touched me. I was a victim of sexual abuse and reading how you were taking proactive steps to make lasting changes in your life stirred something deep inside me. That night, I prayed, for the first time in my life. I prayed that God would do in me what he was doing in you.
These past few weeks have been difficult. I feel like I am drudging up the past and am scared about what will come. But I come to you, your blog for encouragement. When I read this post of yours today, I saw why God is doing so much in your life. It’s because you WANT him to, and you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make changes.
Shanti, I wanted you to know that I now believe God loves me, that he cares for me, and that he has a plan for my life. And that’s because of you. YOU. Your openness, authentic faith and willingness to share your struggles AND your triumphs made me see God’s goodness. You took me from a bitter, cold person to a person open to God’s love.
You are a breath of fresh air, a true example of Jesus and you are having an impact on the other side of the world! Thank you so much for your blog. I am now on a journey to healing because of you. Thank you again. Please know that what you do makes a difference. And if it’s making a difference in my life, it’s probably making a difference in someone else’s life, too.
Keep on going, Shanti!
Shanti Landon says
Yvette, I can’t even begin to tell you what your comment means to me! My heart is so overflowing with joy and happiness knowing that you are able to accept the love of Jesus! What I find even more amazing is that my therapist, by inspiring change in me, had a large part in you coming to faith and seeing God’s goodness! What an intricate thread He weaves in our lives! I can only imagine the rejoicing in heaven when you opened your heart to God.
Thank you so much for your encouragement and kind, thoughtful words. Sometimes I wonder if anyone out there is listening or cares what I’m saying, and you just made it ALL worth it!
I will be praying for you as you go through your journey to healing. Do you have a therapist you are working through this with?
Yvette says
I love the perspective of knowing your therapist had a hand in me coming to Christ! Such a neat insight.
As for me having a therapist, yes. After your post on therapy, I found a counselor who is very good and I think she will be instrumental in my healing. Again, thank you so much for your posts. Please tell your therapist thank you from me as well. You are right–her impacting you in turn impacted me. Makes me really think about my interactions with people and how they will affect others!
Leigh says
Thank you, Yvette, for sharing your journey. Chances are good I probably won’t meet you this side of heaven, but when I do, I want to give you a big hug!
Kelly @ The Nourishing Home says
Yvette, I am praising God with you and celebrating that He has revealed His abundant love through this faithful friend of ours, Shanti! I was so touched by this post and was thinking that this is exactly the type of love and grace that draws people to Christ. And then as I read through the comments and saw your post, I began to cry. Here it was in right before my eyes – a beautiful woman seeing the magnificent love of God through one of His children living it out and choosing to be like Him. May God bless you as you draw ever nearer to Him. With much love in Christ, Kelly
Leda Black says
You’re doing your daughters a disservice. Cognitive psychologists have known for 1 years that a moderate amount of video games (any kind) improves fluid intelligence. If a stranger told you that girls should skip rope instead of learning fractions, would you praise the “lord” and blog about it?
Darren S. says
Are you flipping kidding me?? “Cognitive psychologists have known for 1 years that a moderate amount of video games (any kind) improves fluid intelligence”?? First of all, check your comments before you post them. Secondly, what you said makes no sense. You’re scolding Shanti for limiting her kids’ video game time to 30 minutes a day? Really? Who in their right mind does that? Is it because you don’t limit your kids’ time and feel guilty? You think she’s wrong for praising God for helping her to love on someone instead of lashing out at them? I think you, Leda, need to take a look at yourself in the mirror and see how you could stand to benefit greatly from following Shanti’s example of loving people for who they are instead of judging them.
Kelly says
you missed the point of the entire post. it has nothing to do with whether the woman was right in her comment, it has to do with Shanti choosing to love another person more than herself.
Tamara p. says
Great response and so spirit led. I, sadly, am STILL learning how to not get so defensive esp. when I know I’m right. :p You did a much better job than I have at times, I’m afraid. Still working on this; pray for me!!
Shanti Landon says
I’m still working on it, too, Tamara! Praying for both of us! =)