Four common blind spots (Part 2 in my life coaching series)

Four Common Blind Spots

I am just finishing up my second Christian Life Coaching certification class through Light University. It has been an incredible few months, and I have learned so many tools to have in my “toolkit” as I move forward with coaching others. The class I am almost done with is “Principles of Christian Life Coaching” and covers how to sharpen your focus in life coaching, gender-specific coaching, finding the right “niche,” and creating a strategic plan. All great stuff! 

Like I said, I’ve learned a ton the last few months, but I wanted to share with you all one of the concepts that really stuck out to me:

We all have blind spots.

You might wonder what I mean by that, and I’m going to tell you. 

As Daniel Goldman said, 

“A blind spot is an appropriate metaphor for our failure to see things as they are in actuality. We fail to see what it is we do not see. And, it’s those very things we do not see that cause intelligent people to do stupid things!”

Great quote, right? 

So today I’m going to share with you four common blind spots that we may experience, and what we can be doing about them.

Four Common Blind Spots

We think we are the exception to the rule

What was fascinating to me about this blind spot was that in one study of university professors, 94% ranked themselves as “above average.” Now, we all know this is not possible. Also worthy of note is that those who are least skilled tend to overestimate their skills and are the ones who get themselves into more trouble, while those who are gifted tend to underestimate themselves.

For someone who underestimates themselves, they may not set their goals high enough. Those who overestimate themselves often face the most problems. (i.e. debt on a credit card because they say, “I’ll just pay it off later!”) They need to be reminded: never assume you are the exception to the rule! 

What can you do? Be humble. Assume you aren’t the exception to the rule, and proceed forward as such.

We prefer fantasy instead of reality

We often don’t want to face the fact that life is hard. We’d rather stay in the dark, pretend like everything is ok, or just “sweep it all under the rug.” 

Another great quote for you:

“Once we get that life is difficult…then life is no longer difficult.”

– Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled

In order to get out of this blind spot, we need to do a few things:

• Acknowledge the issue that sometimes change is painful.
• Remember that what we are feeling is normal. 
• Remember you can’t bring in the new unless you first clear out the old.
• Ask yourself during  your quiet times:
  • Is there any truth I am refusing to look at because of the pain?
  • Is this a problem that I have ignored in the past?
  • Am I willing to make a change? 

We focus on a few details and we miss the big picture

As women especially, we tend to compare ourselves to others. We look at the perfectly-styled hair, nice makeup, stylish clothes, “perfectly-behaved” children, and the beautiful house of our friend down the street, and we feel like we are never going to “be like that.” 

The problem is, that’s not reality. 

We are focusing on just a few details of peoples’ lives, and missing out on the whole big picture. 

The best thing you can do if you are needing to make a decision, but you are “stuck” because of this blind spot, check in with yourself:

• Your Heart (How do you feel about this possibility?)
• Your Head (Have you looked at the core values?)
• Holy Spirit (What is God telling you? Have you prayed about it?)

Asking yourself these questions will help you see more clearly the direction you should head.

We do not know what it is we do not know

We need to remember, our perspective is limited. We don’t know it all, and we can’t know it all. We need to assume that we don’t have all the information, and remember to continually be checking in with God to see what the next thing is that we should do. 

If you haven’t heard of the book The Black Swan (not to be confused with the movie), I highly recommend it. It’s very applicable here, as you can read in a portion of the synopsis:

Why do we not acknowledge the phenomenon of black swans until after they occur? Part of the answer, according to Taleb, is that humans are hardwired to learn specifics when they should be focused on generalities. We concentrate on things we already know and time and time again fail to take into consideration what we don’t know. We are, therefore, unable to truly estimate opportunities, too vulnerable to the impulse to simplify, narrate, and categorize, and not open enough to rewarding those who can imagine the “impossible.”

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So, there are four common blindspots I just learned about in my life coaching course. 

Are you interested in learning more about how to become a life coach? 

Do you have a heart for helping others? Are you a good listener? Do you enjoy one-on-one conversations? Are you already a lay counselor, pastor or other ministry leader? Maybe life coaching is for you!

Light University has an excellent referral program. If you are interested in starting their Christian life coaching certification process, click HERE and fill out the form. Just put my name and email (Shanti Landon, lifemadefull@gmail.com) as the person who referred you. When you register, you will receive your first course for just $99, which is a $700 discount off the current tuition rate.