I sit here crying right now.
Crying because my kids ripped my heart open, took out any ounce of doubt that I might have about their generosity, and then stuffed it back into my chest.
You see, I’ve been thinking about Christmas. Things are actually tight around our house right now. We invested a lot into my new {upcoming} blog (which we’re so excited about!), and the combination of car repairs, children’s needs and a number of unexpected expenses has really put a sore in our pocketbook.
Thankfully, Superman is a budget Superman, and is amazing at budgeting money. That being said, he’s not a miracle worker, so when there’s more going out than coming in, that becomes a problem. One thing that has helped us is that we use the envelope system. Each month, we take out money and divide it into envelopes: groceries, personal money, homeschooling activities, blog expenses, etc. Once the money’s gone, it’s gone. We also add money to a Christmas envelope each month so that at the end of the year, we don’t have to go into debt to buy presents for our family. (As a side note–are you interested in a post on budgeting? Please let me know in the comments if you are!)
Over the past couple weeks, something’s been nagging me. Christmas.
I love Christmas. Everything about it–time with family, Christmas music, a fire in the fireplace, hot cocoa…I just love waking up Christmas morning with the feeling that I’m a kid again. I love watching our kids open their presents and seeing the joy on their faces. But not this year. I keep feeling this nagging sense that this Christmas is not supposed to be normal. And it was bothering me–why would I go and spend a bunch of money on things the kids really don’t need, when there are so many people in our own community hurting?
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So, I approached the kids. I was honest with them, and told them that each year, I spend about $100 on each of them for Christmas. And I wanted to know–their true, honest feelings–what they would think about taking half of that money, and using it to bless someone else. And you know what they said? An emphatic, excited YES! They were so excited, they started spitting out ideas right away: “We could buy lunch for a homeless person!” “We could adopt a family through Angel Tree!” (Thanks to K-Love for planting that idea in our kids’ heads!) “We could buy groceries for a poor person!”
The ideas kept coming. And my heart filled, overflowed and I’m serious, felt like it BURST with joy. YES! YES! YES!
THIS is what I want for Christmas! Sure, I want my kids to have a couple things to open on Christmas. But really, I want them to give, give, give, and then feel that feeling I just had. The joy of lighting up someone else’s life.
So, this is our plan. After Thanksgiving, we are going to start blessing people. The kids are going to make a list of things we want to do, and we’re going to take the $250 that would have gone to their gifts, and we’re going to bless the socks off some people. And I can’t wait. And neither can they.
Do you want to join us? Talk to your kids–see if it’s something they want to do. Seriously, I thought I would be met with sad faces and groans of disapproval. I was so freakin’ blown away that these little children would be willing to give up half of their Christmas money to complete strangers. Maybe you are already struggling. Maybe you don’t have anything to give anyone else, let alone your own kids. We want to bless you, even if it’s in a small way. Please e-mail me with your story. Or maybe you are doing ok, holding strong, but you just don’t feel you have anything to give financially to someone else. Would you be willing to help serve someone? The joy of giving isn’t limited to money–your time is just as valuable!
I hope you join us. I think this Christmas season is going to be one of my favorite ones yet.
Katrina says
Thank you for another wonderful, heart touching blog post! You and your family are amazing!!!
Laurieintexas says
Every year I try to set money aside and buy those super , and free shipping deals that places like nomorerack and amazon have. Today Amazon has a cute girl/lady gift necklace. It is an owl pendant watch, it only costs $2.48. So I got two, One delivered to me, and one sent to my cousin for her daughter, (she is 33 and fighting breast cancer, and may not have $ to get a gift to wrap for under the tree, so maybe she will use this as a gift for her daughter) The one sent here will likely go to angle tree or something similar! Sometimes, when you get free shipping, these “deals” really are DEALS, and can bless others!
I love your heart, and am so glad to hear the heart of your children. Kudos on your efforts this year!
Aixa Olivera says
Your children are a reflection of you and Superman. Which is why their happy and honest YES! response came to no surprise to me. 🙂
You give so much to others (every day!) If you only knew how much you’ve impacted my life. Your blog is such a blessing to me. 🙂 This will be tonight’s topic of conversation at Casa Olivera, curious to know what the family has to say. 🙂
Thank you! And happy giving!!!
Suzanne says
I was just thinking the same thing about Christmas. Thinking about all the years past and how much money I spent on things that nobody remembers. We’re going to have a pared down Christmas here too. I’m trying to get our finances under control and would love to see a blog on budgeting. I got the Dave Ramsey book out of the library and that has helped get my mind in gear, but any other help would be appreciated. Thank you!
Mel Sargent says
I’ve been mulling this over too! I usually have at least half of the kids’ presents by November, and I have two… total. Two years ago we drastically cut back on the number of gifts (they now receive 4 each, one being pjs they open Christmas Eve, and a stocking). I am going to pose your idea to my 5 kiddos to see their response! I have 3 eager givers and two who really enjoy receiving, so I’m anxious to see the response!
Also, I would love a blog post on budgeting. Having a family of 7, with one income, has forced us to tighten up, but I’d love some thoughts on how to do it better!
Kim says
I would love a post about budgeting! Thank you!
Angela says
What a great read this morning!
I believe more people would really benefit all round if we all changed our Christmas’s a little.
Give more to others and a little less for ourselves… But in doing that many full hearts!
I have had many Christmas’s over the last ten years where I have not been able to give gifts at all. (Very hard at first, but a huge learning curve for all) Our family just focused on being together, sharing food and focusing on love and care.
This year I plan on buying a Swag for the homeless here in Australia, as my gift to someone outside of our family 🙂
https://www.facebook.com/SwagsForHomeless?fref=ts
Im excited.
I think its wonderful that your children have chosen to give up some of the money that would usually buy gifts for them. AND I love the fact that you spend $100 on each of them (when my kids were young we spent $50),
Some people go way over board and in the end the kids just have this expectation that a gift has to be worth $300.
Thanks for your post!
Jessica says
Thank you for this post. We let my daughter pick out a toy for Toys for Tots, and I am struggling with how to raise a generous child. She is only 4 but rather attached to stuff and still would rather get for herself. Any suggestions? I would also love to read a post about budgeting. We are all over the board and would love to see what works for other families.
Valerie says
That is awesome! We do get names from Salvation Army and get toys for 3 children (each of our children pick out a gift for one) and we’ve also adopted families. We pick a family (a needy family, if you will) and we use the “12 of days of Christmas” by putting a gift on their door step 12 days prior and each night thereafter til it’s Christmas day! We do it anonymously and just sign the tag “Kris Kringle”. It brings so much joy to us!!! And I know it makes them feel special 🙂 Tis the season to be giving!!!
BrownThumbMama says
What a fantastic idea! We also have a tight Christmas budget, so we focus on service during the holidays. Grocery deals and gleaned fruit go to the food bank; we wrap gifts for Christmas Promise.
So proud of your children for rising to the call!
Robin says
Hi Shanti- Loved this post. My sister Betsy Gall told me about your blog, and I love it! We’ve scaled back quite a bit on our Christmases over the last five years, and it’s been really sweet. I wanted to share with you a few Christmas blog entries. Maybe you’ll feel less alone when you read them. It’s very counter cultural to do what you’re doing- I want to encourage you to go for it!
http://frustratedfarmgirl.wordpress.com/2010/12/22/christmas-with-white-space/
http://frustratedfarmgirl.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/hundred-dollar-holiday/
http://frustratedfarmgirl.wordpress.com/2013/01/02/the-gift-of-nothing/
radlandon says
Thanks, Robin! I *love* your sister, so you must be awesome, too! I’ll check out your posts!
Kelly @ A Girl Worth Saving says
Your children are a blessing and you must be one proud mama. I’m so glad that you opened their hearts to this. I know this will be a memorable Christmas for everyone.
Nicole says
I would love to hear your tips about budeting! It is not something we currently do but I would like to start! I always enjoy your blog and posts 🙂 Keep up the great work!
Leslie Langston says
Hi Shanti,
I stumbled across one of your recipes and am feeling inspired by your journey. I too have been disenchanted by the money spent on gifts that are not really needed nor can we really afford. For many years I have always asked everyone to pick an angel from an angel tree and spend on the angel what they would spend on me. I am truly blessed with my family and gladly share what I can. I am so glad you and your awesome kids also want to share the love. I am blessed with a beautiful daughter who also has a giving heart (especially now that she is older, 18) and she now realizes what I have been saying all along. Give to those less fortunate and your heart will feel very full, it is truly better to give than receive.
Blessing on you and your family!
Vanessa says
Love, love, love!!! I’m totally doing this with you! I’m feeling nervous to ask my kids. I hope I’m as blown away with a positive response as you are! Thank you for sharing!
radlandon says
Hi, Vanessa! Yay! Let me know how it turns out!