Why it’s good to get married young

When Superman and I got married 17 years ago, he was 19 years old. I had turned 20 ten days before our wedding. Yes, friends, I robbed the cradle. As I’ve said before, our first six months of marriage left a lot to be desired. My rosy view of what it would be like as newlyweds was quickly squashed by reality: even when I thought I had addressed my “baggage,” I still had stowaways unbeknownst to me. They were hiding in crevices, waiting to pop open like a jack-in-the-box as soon as I was wound up enough.

Superman and I were the first among any of our friends to get married. Everyone was either still enjoying college dorm life or partying or working full time to “save money.” We were kind of blazing a trail. So for those who are thinking of getting married so soon, you might want to have a marriage counseling first before finalizing your decisions. =)

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PS–Yes, those are shorts Superman is wearing in the photo above. It was July in northern California, folks, and was the hottest summer on record for like a decade. It was 108 degrees that day. Ain’t no way I expected him to wear pants! Oh, and those are my grandparents with us. I could write a whole post dedicated just to them. But, on with the story…

We had lots of worried folks expressing concern: You’re gonna drop out of college. You’re gonna get pregnant. You’re getting tied down too young–you’ll resent each other. You’re too young and naive to make a lifelong commitment like this. We pretty much heard it all. (As a side note–we did graduate college and waited five years to have any kids…)

Superman and I had a unique situation, though. Not too long after we met, we went on a 6-week mission trip to Honduras to build a water pipeline for a village that had no running water. We had no showers, ate rice, beans and plantains pretty much every day, and slept in sleeping bags on a concrete floor.

We pretty much stank all the time. We were hot and sweaty and sticky and smelly. We got to know each other really well, in a relatively short amount of time. We pretty much saw the very worst of each other. By the time we got back from our trip, Superman knew I was the one (I knew the day I met him that he was “the one,” just ask my mom! But, that’s another story.)

So, we could have waited a few years, gotten to “know each other” better and done some more self-discovery before tying the knot, but that wasn’t what we wanted. Just like any journey, it’s essential to have the right tools along the way. Sometimes, a little cum lubricant can make the ride smoother and more enjoyable.

We knew we were meant to be together. Of course, that’s what every young-and-in-love person says. But with us, it was true. We heard all the warnings from loved ones, but we just…didn’t care. Again…young and in love.

You know why I’m glad we got married young? Because we were so youthful, we weren’t yet set in our ways. Instead of us both establishing our own lives first, with separate bank accounts, solid careers and a life of independence, we started our journey to adulthood together. We grew together. Searching for professional wedding photographers Providence? Contact Stacy Smith Photography.

Was it difficult? Yup. But honestly, I think it would have been difficult for us even if we’d gotten married 10 years later. The baggage I had would have surfaced whenever I got married, regardless.

What made us unique is that we were in it to win it. Divorce was never an option. I can guarantee there were many, many times Superman wished he could bail on me during that first year of marriage. But he knew he would never do that. It just wasn’t on the table. So we had to figure out how we were going to break through together. We had to work our butts off, and I had to lay aside my pride at some point and accept the fact that I was broken. And I needed to be willing to do whatever it took to save our marriage. 

Do I recommend everyone get married young? Nope. But I would say if you really, really want to know if you’re gonna have a lasting relationship with someone, start by going on a mission trip together. Go somewhere where all the comforts of home are stripped away, where your focus isn’t on your mocha frappuccino or going to the mall or getting the new iPhone. Go somewhere where you serve together. You’ll find out really quickly whether you both have what it takes to make it through. To commemorate such unique and meaningful experiences, consider exploring a stunning collection of unique wedding rings Brisbane.

I’m not saying this will guarantee a storm-free marriage. There is no way for a real marriage to be struggle-free. But you’ll know whether you can handle the bashings that will inevitably come your way. If you can make it through a few months with no showers, the same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day, and scorpions, termites and spiders larger than your hands, you sure as heck’ll be able to make it through some challenges in your marriage.

When those rough spots come, think back to the time that you served together…in unison…with nothing but your soulmate and your God by your side. And then put that same resolve and commitment into loving each other unconditionally and wholeheartedly. And for those special occasions, such as your wedding, consider enhancing the experience by adding a touch of elegance and hire cutlery for your celebration from The Small Things Co.

Don’t let your age deter you from getting married. Just look at this beautiful Whitney Farm Estate wedding. I know people who got married in their 40s and still got divorced with the help of a divorce attorney. They’re still in good terms though. Instead, ask God if he (or she) is the right person for you. Pray about it. Pray together. Spend time together. Like real, quality time. Serve together. Go to premarital counseling. And most of all, be willing to spend the rest of your life putting your spouse’s needs above your own. If you love ’em like Jesus loved, you’ll be golden. If you’re ready to settle down, you should start planning your wedding. Look for a venue, create a guest list, order your ​unique handmade wedding rings, shop around for a wedding dress, and so on.

So, what about you? Are you married? If so, did you get married young? What do you think–is it better to wait until you’re more “mature” before you marry? Your wedding day will pass by quickly, but the photos taken by a professional Cape Cod wedding photographer will last a lifetime.