Why Porn is Tragic for Your Marriage (Warning: Adult Material Discussed)

Note: This is a controversial topic, and I hesitated sharing it on my blog because I truly want my site to remain friendly for children. However, I believe this issue is of such vital importance that I ultimately decided it was more important to educate and spread truth than it was to shy away from this relevant, vitally important topic.

I hate porn.

I hate what it does to women, to men, to children, and to relationships.

I hate that my children have to grow up in a world where such damaging filth is merely a click away, and the path to destruction is a slippery, slimy, nearly impossible slope to climb back up.

I came across something interesting, and felt compelled to share it, because I don’t think many people realize how literally damaging porn exposure is.

Scientists speculate that a dopamine-oxytocin combo is released in the brain during orgasm, acting as a “biochemical love potion,” as behavioral therapist Andrea Kuszewski calls it. It’s the reason after having sex with someone, you’re probably more inclined to form an emotional attachment. But you don’t have to actually have sex in order to get those neurotransmitters firing. When you watch live porn of cam models (learn more here), “you’re bonding with it,” Kuszewski says. “And those chemicals make you want to keep coming back to have that feeling.” Which allows men not only to get off on porn but to potentially develop a neurological attachment to it. They can, in essence, date porn. {source}

What this means is that our bodies, when reaching orgasm, release a hormone that bonds us with the person (or thing) that we’re with. And when you’re bonding with something other than your spouse, you are decreasing the desire and level of bonding with him or her. Being visually stimulated by clip after clip of unrealistic images and videos will only lead to disappointment in the bedroom. It’s not possible for a wife to compete with that.

Oxytocin is also released during visual arousal, however; When sexually aroused without a committed partner through means such as pornography, the recipient of Oxytocin is left feeling alone, depressed and confused, despite the rush of dopamine. See the dangerous irony? Oxytocin has the power to sexually bond a committed couple in healthy and meaningful ways or it can destroy an individual with feelings of emptiness and depression. Oxytocin is a chemical “glue” seeking something to bond with. When there is no bonding, isolation and secrecy result. Pornography is an Oxytocin powerhouse leaving a wake of emptiness and confusion to all those it claims.  {source}

Cambridge Neuropsychiatrist Valerie Voon was featured in the UK documentary Porn on the Brain. Her research demonstrates that the brains of habitual porn users show great similarity to the brains of alcoholics. A brain structure called the ventral striatum plays a significant role in the reward system of the brain—the pleasure pathways. It is the same part of the brain that “lights up” when an alcoholic sees a picture of a drink.

When having sex or watching porn, dopamine is released into a region of the brain responsible for emotion and learning, giving the viewer a sense of sharp focus and a sense of craving: “I have got to have this thing; this is what I need right now.” It supplies a great sense of pleasure. The next time the viewer gets the “itch” for more sexual pleasure, small packets of dopamine are released in the brain telling the user: “Remember where you got your fix last time. Go there to get it.” {source}

Friends, porn isn’t just a harmless side effect of living in today’s world. It is tragically replacing the marital relationship and bonding that God intended. It’s dangerous, and should be treated as such. And the only way we can make a dent in its power is to openly discuss its ramifications and be educated on its harmful effects.