Is Your Heart Chronically Ill?

 

Before I changed my diet, I had chronic joint pain. I had been diagnosed with Osteoarthritis in my 20s, had lower back pain, headaches, neck pain and a serious case of brain fog. Sure, I felt like crap, but it was kinda my normal. Have you struggled with chronic pain? If so, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s a thorn in your side, but your body almost becomes numb to just how bad it is. You take your pills, and resign yourself to the fact that it’s just your lot in life.

I actually didn’t even realize how badly I felt until we changed to a Paleo diet. A few days after cutting out dairy, sugar and wheat, I woke up one morning and realized: I feel 20 years younger! It was a miracle. I never realized how sick my body was until I realized how healthy I could be. My joint pain disappeared, my brain fog lifted, and my energy level was 10x more than it had been.

Once I got a taste of what it felt like to feel good, I never wanted to go back. 

One thing I’ve realized since starting therapy a few months ago is that my soul really was in the same boat as my body. I had no clue how much hauling around the burdens of my past was affecting me. My spirit was chronically ill, and I had no idea. It wasn’t until I started to take pieces of that pain and hand them over to God that I realized how amazingly free I could be. It was like scales were removed from my eyes, the fog was lifted, and I was able to see for the first time the freedom and joy that I never even knew was missing. 

Unfortunately, it wasn’t as simple as just changing my diet this time. I wish I could just remove a few foods or practices from my life and find complete healing in my soul. Unfortunately, matters of the heart take a lot longer to overcome. 

But I’m seeing glimpses. 

I have these moments of clarity when I feel as though every burden has been lifted and my chronic heart pain has disappeared. 

I feel things more deeply.

Whether it’s worship music or love for my kids and Superman or the beauty of our world, I feel things on a richer, deeper level. My soul is often stirred, and this is new for me.

I see things more vividly.

It’s hard to describe in words what freedom brings. The best way I can describe it is that I see the world in more vibrant color. I feel like my memories, both new and old, have always been dull and grey. Now, it’s as though colors are more dynamic, more electrifying…more alive. 

I am allowing my vulnerability to show.

Whether it’s initiating “I love you” with Superman (for the record, for the first time that I can ever remember, I told Superman I loved him the other day without him saying it first), talking to my kids openly (within reason) about my journey in therapy, or apologizing to them when I make mistakes, I am laying down my defenses more and more.

Friends, this is freedom. 

This is overcoming a chronically ill spirit that I didn’t even know was ailing. 

Just as I had to remove aggravating foods from my diet in order to see what true health was, I am having to remove burdens from my soul in order to see what true freedom is.

Is your heart chronically ill? It might be time for you to start making some changes so you can see what freedom feels like. 

What changes do you feel you need to make?