Last night my mind was blown. And by blown I mean, I’m still reeling from one of the most intense, life-altering moments of my existence.
Superman and I went to a “Hearing & Healing Night” at the Rock of Roseville, a local church.
We have been to a few of these healing nights, and have heard touching stories of people being healed of life-long ailments as well as hearing spoken words directly from God.
I know, that sounds pretty crazy. Fringe, definitely. I was a skeptic, too. As a matter of fact, about 6 months ago, I went and asked for prayer for my jaw. I had a deep desire to meet God that night. I anticipated healing. I believed He would do a miracle. But when He didn’t, I was not only disappointed, I started to doubt. I doubted that God would heal my jaw. I doubted that He would miraculously take away my pain. And I pretty much gave up hope that God was going to do anything about it–and I sought healing through my doctor.
Let me interject here to say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with using modern-day medicine. I am so very thankful for my surgeon, for doctors who help heal broken bones, give stitches, give out life-saving medicines, and the many, many things they do to save lives every day. I just think I gave up on God a little too early.
Back to last night.
We went to the service because even though I didn’t experience healing the last time we went, Superman had an encounter you’ll get to hear about soon. The service started at 6:00, but we showed up at about 6:45. The whole first hour is worship, and as much as I truly enjoy worship music, an hour is a long time for Superman and I. We joined in the last few songs, and settled in for what we thought would be a night where God would work, but we didn’t know how. We listened to the message that was preached. We found out that there would be no “prophetic word” spoken last night, that it would be a night focused on healing. I was disappointed–Superman and I had come with specific questions in our mind that we were hoping God might answer through one of these gifted people.
Honestly, I was bored. Superman leaned over and whispered, “When they start the healing, you should go up for your jaw.” I wrinkled my nose and said to myself, “I don’t think so.” Really, I was thinking, “Why would I do that? I already gave God a chance, and he didn’t do anything. It wasn’t meant to be.” I know, that sounds kind of selfish, but that’s really how I felt.
A young guy got on the stage–his name is Aaron. He said God had shown him someone in the room who had arthritis in their hands, and to come up for healing. Someone who couldn’t hear out of one of their ears. Someone who had vision problems. And then: someone who has jaw issues. TMJ related. Their jaw pops out of place.
I jolted my head, turning toward Superman. Of course, he pointed his finger toward the front, prompting me to walk down the aisle toward the stage.
Worship music was playing. This wasn’t one of those services where people are standing on stage, being healed on display for all to see. I stood there with other people, in a line facing the stage, while each person was prayed with privately. I was thinking, “I don’t think God’s going to meet me here. I’m going to be disappointed.” I’m not just saying that here–that’s really what I was thinking. I fully believed I was going to leave disappointed.
I waited for about 5 minutes, standing awkwardly, waiting for one of the “gifted” people to come pray with me.
Finally, a nice-looking lady walked up and stood in front of me. “What can I pray for you today?” she asked. Keep in mind the worship music was still playing, so it was loud. “Well, Aaron said he saw someone with jaw issues that needed to come down for healing, so I’m here. I have to be honest, though. I’ve had prayer for this once before, and I wasn’t healed. I’m really skeptical, and I feel doubtful.”
She gently grabbed my hand, placed it on my heart, and stared deep into my eyes. She started praying, eyes open. I stood there, staring back into her deep blue eyes, feeling uncomfortable. As she prayed, she asked God to remove my doubt, to open my heart to His truth, to believe that not only could He heal, He could make me thrive.
It got less awkward. I started to let my guard down a bit and started praying silently that God would allow me to witness His power.
All of the sudden, my jaw started to burn.
I wasn’t freaked out, because I’ve heard of this happening, but I was starting to think maybe something cool was going to happen. Was I actually going to be healed? Was I going to leave with no pain???
The woman finished praying, and asked how I felt. “Well, my jaw still hurts. But it’s burning. I’m not sure what that means?”
She smiled; a kind, gentle smile. A knowing smile. She asked me, “Do you have any idea why you have had jaw issues? Was there an injury, or something related to your pain that would explain it?”
I told her I have never found a correlation, I don’t remember exactly when it started, but that I assume it’s tension related, even though I don’t really even feel stressed.
And then: the bombshell.
She said to me, “While I was praying, I saw an image. I saw your father, leaning over you in bed when you were a child, with his hand pressing over your mouth telling you to stop grinding your teeth.”
I immediately burst into tears. I have never felt such a rush of emotion pour out of me.
Then she went on to say, “I see you walking on eggshells in your house as a child. You were afraid to speak. You felt you had no voice.”
Have you ever had someone tell you something about your past–something deep, dark, and true? What she said–ALL of it, was true. She had no way of knowing those things. I stood there, tears streaming down my face, in shock.
She continued, “God is telling you tonight that Satan has used your jaw, the pain, the surgery as a distraction. Your past, your feeling of not having a voice has manifested itself in your jaw. The tension from your childhood, is Satan’s attempt to silence you. I see you speaking to women, encouraging them, speaking truth into their lives, using your voice to impact future generations. Your jaw has been Satan’s attempt to keep you and your husband from doing what it is that God wants you to do.”
I was still speechless from the fact that this woman, a complete stranger to me, knew about my dad trying to get me to stop grinding my teeth. I hadn’t even mentioned to her anything about grinding my teeth. As a matter of fact, I shared very little information with her, as I was so skeptical and didn’t want to give her any “leads” to work with.
She placed her hands softly on my face, and prayed. A deep, heartfelt prayer for healing. Not just for my jaw, but for my heart, my soul.
When she finished, I could still feel pain in my jaw. But I didn’t feel disappointed. This was, by no means, a failure.
God met me last night. He spoke to me through a complete stranger. He reminded me–He is there. He is here. He is all around me.
He is my Father, my daddy.
Healing may not come right now at this very moment, but healing is coming. I can feel it.
I am forever changed from this experience. I’m still not exactly sure what it all means. I just know that God BLEW my mind last night. And I can pretty much guarantee He’s going to blow it again. As long as I’m willing to put it all on the line for Him.